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I got to the root of my problems.

I must confess that I have a pretty bad season ... let's say that I have put together everything. IT, what I have felt overwhelmed with my family, I can not say that I am, classes ... I thought it was just an accumulation of things but today I got to the root of my problems.

was at home with my brother and my mother. As days ago, with a face, edge and answering very listless. Have been serious and we're done talking. I could take all the shit that was inside, a shit of course I did not. Now I understand as do the psychologists ... just have to look inside yourself, accept the things and say them out loud to understand you.

The root of my problems I have two personalities is very clear. The first is that I am with my family. A silly girl, innocent, laughing about everything and do not worry about anything. The second is what I really am a mature woman with straight and the desire to conquer the world. Whenever I have that image, because I've always been. And when I started to change just did not. So I pretended to be what I am not for many years ... and that is that I have deep fear of being who I am and that I accept. On the other hand one of the factors of this second personality is my homosexuality. I know real people and not all that clear and greatly influenced. Comments, criticisms, things that hurt. My brother talking and talking told me the other day she told my aunt most feared because it is religious. At first I felt bad, but then I said, you have lifted a weight off because it does not have to tell me.

The truth is I'm new. And never before had I realized that I had to carry two persons so affected. As I have advised, I will try to show as I am slowly ... and so I will have to:)


And since I am, today I dreamed of her and her boyfriend. So fantastic together, so adorable. I'm glad, but sleep has been horrible. Having to see her in the arms of another ... With my own eyes, before me. As much as I said the other day that had passed, I can not help but feel uncomfortable knowing that I'm not that happy doing. But speaking selfishly ... because I really, I'm happy you've found someone who cares. I just hope I can do the same soon.

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Ready to be happy:)

I live the most bipolar of my life.

The other day I read that she had missed her boyfriend, but I did not speak for herself. So it did not affect me because I did not believe (or would not accept it). Finally, after about 3 weeks she has been connected. I did not want to talk, but I was dying. After so long ... I was not sure what to do. In the end I succumbed to the temptation, I needed to know the truth because the question was killing me.

was true. She had a boyfriend. As I said, I've had a hand to his mouth to make no noise, and I began to mourn. He died literally. This another. Other than the kiss, one that tells you I love you, other than the hug and tell you how wonderful it is ... But while I was talking about those tears were drying and were turning into smiles.

's funny. I've gone from crying to be laughing. I've had it rough, and yet I had a genius. Again, she and I, as before. But as ever. When we were just friends.

I think I'm prepared to say:

I'm not in love, but I love .

Wish me luck,

the same for you.

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A bubble to go! Thanks.

're stupid. Are reserved. If you are unsure. are shy.

"Shyness is a sense of insecurity and shame in oneself you may feel before a social situation. "

For me, it is much more than that. A disease that haunts me I have use of reason ... always involved, fucking the best, the best people, and many things to say .

been a long time since I had to face its her, I even think he had defeated ... but deluded. That never.

Today has come to light in my first job interview, and me into panic. The post was crap (in the mcdonalds) so I'm not concerned about it. What I have been afraid that I've noticed that I have always been and I always will be. Do not if I were sitting in front of more interviews and leave them. If I have a partner someday. (Since I have left for this once) or people who become friends.

I have too many insecurities in myself to not let me be happy. That make people stay away from me, and can not think of any way I want.

I disappear from the world. Of the criticisms, fears, mistakes. I put them all in a bag and send to the moon. Climb on a soap bubble and fly beyond this city.

I feel lonely.

Without IT.

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Women Bathers paintings

Salvador Dali

Leon Auguste Perrey

• Venus, twisting her hair in triumph,
• occurs in the water bursting laughter
• that is light and joy of the wretched being, into the sea
• then the real hair, and the world
• recovers its initial grace, and the sea
• trembles and sings great pleasure.
• For the fronts due weight,
• arms outstretched, protruding breasts, lips
• suddenly breaking into song, the chorus
• goddess goes on light aircraft,
• curling seas with hair,
• lights and laughter that make them tremble [...],

Salvador Rueda





Alma_Tadema


Alexandra Nedzvetckaya


Albert Laurens

Adolphe
LaLyre


Adolphe LaBLyre


British •
my life I want to fall in death,
as the high water jet
beautiful morning lying in the water;
wavy, bright , sensual, cheerful,
diluted with everybody in it, in grace
crisp and happy.


Water Water, Juan Ramón Jiménez






Pierre-Auguste Renoir



Daniel Vasquez Diaz


Adolphe_Bouguereau